Twitter is a cruel mistress. She steals me from you at all hours of the night, bloggie.
She sucks me in with her promises of DMs and @ mentions! So I go to her. I go to her hoping for instant fame and 1,000 followers.
But it’s never what I get, bloggie. Not Ever.
So, I’m coming back to you in full force, bloggie. You and me. Forever.
Also, it’s absolutely gorgeous in Portland, today bloggie. Too bad I’m stuck wearing business casual monkey suits for the man. But it’s worth it. Because I can play with you when I’m at work. Private offices are where I can practice my blog love.
Anyone reading this — feel free to follow me on the Twitter. @MeaganKate.
Don’t worry, bloggie – I just REALLY want to make it to a milliony bajilliony followers. It’s not you. It’s me.
Last week, Portland was downpouring. I ruined a pair of suede flats trying to outrun a metro bus and make it into the office without looking like the tragic climax of a Nicholas Sparks film.
And now I’m laying in bed sweating.
My crack head neighbor called to me yesterday as I left for a concert.
“You got one of ‘dem air conditioners in there?”
“Nope. Not right now.”
“Yah best get one. It’s about to get really hot.”
“I heard.”
“We wouldn’t want you meltin’ or nothin’ like that.”
“Indeed. No melting.”
“incoherantgrumbles”
Storymakerupper was supposed to sell me her AC unit. I haven’t done that yet. But I should soon, because I have to come to terms with the fact that I am NOT made for heat. Meagans are a fragile, simple people. We need cold air, chilled wine and DVDs of workplace comedies.
Fuck this day and this heat and my sweating.
Someone. Someone please bring me ice. My deadbolt is broken. You could probably get in if you try hard enough.
I’ll be up here. Watching The Whitest Guys You Know. Dying.
I was up until 2:30 a.m. and had to be at work at 8:30 a.m.
Don’t ask why I was up – that is besides the point. ::iwaswithaboy!::
The point here is that I am dead to the world. And when Meagan gets incredibly sleepy, Meagan gets fuzzy.
For instance, she puts the wrong shoes on her feet and walks around for two hours before realizing her error. Or maybe she puts her bra on inside out. Perhaps today, she tried to eat yogurt with a fork.
The point is: I think nap time should make a comeback.
I hated naps as a child, and I’m honestly not that great at them now. I get antsy and feel the need to get things ‘done.’
Recently, however, I have come to realize that getting things ‘done’ is overrated, and therefore feel a revolution for Adult Nap Time (accompanied with afternoon wine) is needed!
So, who’s with me? I mean, if we start with the city of Portland, and everyone just shuts down at 1:30, what are they going to do!? NOTHING.
I apologize to the usual four of you who read this blog. I have been awful at keeping up with this page for the last week or so. Partially because Bea Arthur’s death required heavy mourning on my part. Partially because I went to a bodybuilding competition. Partially because some not-so-funny things happened to me last week and nobody wants to read about that!
We like happy sunshine and observational humor! Yay!
I was talking to a friend about how un-funny I have felt the last week or so and she suggested finding one of those awkward ‘101 Great Posting Tips’ sites. I told her I was above those, because god dammit, I’m original.
And then I realized that looking at it might just make me laugh, which I needed.
I was surprised to see the long list of things you can write about! I thought that sarcastic comments about others’ clothing and opinions was the only way! Maybe these would be useful?
Apparently, when using ‘bar charts or graphs’ you get more readers! So, I got this on The Internets. I don’t know what it’s for, but look at it!
Oohhhhh… pretty.
The site also indicated that people like polls, so I made you one. Enjoy.
Finally, number 44 on this site was “Make A Funny Post.”
So — for that, please refer to all previous posts.
