Long story short – I have to re-interview for my own job today.
There are other candidates. I want to vomit.
So, since my father’s worry-wort nature has prepared me to do so – I am planning for the worst.
The following are potential job avenues for me:
- Prostitute. [For obvious reasons. Mainly my stems.]
- Professional drinker.
- Personal shopper.
- Bad financial role model.
- Competitive sushi eater.
- Driver. [I would probably need something other than my '92 Intrepid. But whatever.]
- Stunt woman. As long as I don’t have to fall from tall buildings or really jump at all. I hate jumping.
- Drug dealer. Only prescription, though. I’m classy.
- Birthday party planner. For cool people.
- Mimosa maker. Not a bartender. A mimosa maker.
- Test eater for famous people in fear of poisoning.
- Bad joke teller. [I mean ... Dustin Fucking Diamond gets stand-up gigs!]
Any other ideas?
I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A BOX, PEOPLE!
Wish me luck today!
6 responses so far ↓
Nathalie // June 10, 2009 at 12:16 pm |
Oh Meagpie! You shall get the job! I saw it my crystal ball…err…bathroom sink this morning…its psychic. Whatever.
mattylew // June 10, 2009 at 12:22 pm |
I’ve always wanted to be a personal shopper. #toogayforwords
Alicia // June 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm |
What a weird concept. You already have your job. And you’re good at it to boot. Kick some interview ass. Let me know how it goes. I feel as if we all (Oregon State, Liberal Arts alumns need to start our own company….let’s grab mimosas and discuss…) Yay, opportunity!
aisha // June 10, 2009 at 1:23 pm |
Good luck, Miz M! But seriously, with those shapely calves, do you *need* luck? Knock ‘em dead!
Michelle // June 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm |
You’re awesome! Don’t let ASININE employer tactics get you down!
Mike Mathews // June 29, 2009 at 9:36 am |
Wow, I didn’t read this until today when I saw your comment on ML’s blog post about her new bed (I think she feels liberated, eh?).
Don’t despair, do start your own company. There are a million writers out there. Everyone will tell you they can write, just like everyone auditioning for American Idol can sing (not). Freelance the writing immediately, then look at where you want to go next.
If you build your own business, then you can BE “the man” and be owned by “the man.” Maybe you should plan birthday parties or events or whatever. If I had read this on June 10, I would have said to get out interviewing (you did do that, right?), nothing like walking into your “re-interview for your job” with a resignation letter in hand and a 15%-higher job offer in your pocket (I did that once, it was liberating!).
I know how it feels to be down, but go for it and do what you want to do! You will never regret it.