god damn you, celebrities!

I’m thinking that I need a break from Twitter.

‘OMG, why!?‘ you’re probably screaming.

Because I woke up this morning and, as is the case so often, I didn’t want to be up. So I rolled over and checked my phone. Of course I had a few texts … and then the Twitter drew me in.

‘What happened in the seven hours since I’ve been gone?’ I thought.

I spent the next fifteen minutes looking at Perez Hilton’s tweets about his alleged assault by Will.i.Am.

That’s right. At seven a.m. I was not making coffee or reading about the Iranian protest situation. I was not doing yoga or watching Matt Lauer’s return to The Today Show.

I was reading Perez Hilton’s tweets. His tweets from his Sidekick requesting that his followers call the Toronto police.

Jesus Christ.

Then – of course, I found Will.i.Am., who started a Twitter account simply to reject the accusations.

It was 7:15 a.m. and I was still going. Reading Tila Tequila’s replies to Will and her call for people to unfollow Perez.

Then reading celebrity’s replies to Perez hoping he’s well. Even Kim Kardashian cares, so it’s okay if I do.

It was 7:25 a.m. and I was still in my PJs.

And that’s when I realized … that Twitter is The Devil.

I must stop following celebrities. BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW I EXIST, NOR DO THEY CARE ABOUT MY OPINION.

…. For the record …. I’m taking a very progressive stand on this beef.